


When My Heartbeat Stops, Will You Stay Mine?

by clarkes_murphy



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Bly Manor, F/F, I did it y'all, a fix-it fic for Damie because I haven't been able to focus on anything else for two weeks now, damie - Freeform, damie endgame, dani x jamie, dani x jamie endgame, domestic!damie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:33:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27111256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarkes_murphy/pseuds/clarkes_murphy
Summary: “It’s you. It’s me. It’s us.” Those wretched words, ripping themselves from Dani’s throat.Viola paused, with little Flora shivering in her arms. All her years of sleeping, waking, walking. All to find a child for reasons she couldn’t even recall, and now, she had one. And yet. There stood this woman. The au pair.//Or, my version of what happened with Dani and Jamie in the finale episode of The Haunting of Bly Manor.Massive thank you to Gwendolyn for inspiring this story!
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Viola Lloyd, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 36
Kudos: 388





	When My Heartbeat Stops, Will You Stay Mine?

“It’s you. It’s me. It’s us.” Those wretched words, ripping themselves from Dani’s throat.

Viola paused, with little Flora shivering in her arms. All her years of sleeping, waking, walking. All to find a child for reasons she couldn’t even recall, and now, she had one. And yet. There stood this woman. The au pair. Up to her waist in the freezing lake, eyes wide with fright, uttering words that, for the first time since her death, stopped the lady of the lake. It was a mere moment… but it was enough.

Viola turned, clutching the child. The pull she felt was undeniable, swelling within her after years of nothingness. And so, instead of heading down to the lake bed, she walked back to the young woman. And as she walked, she could feel herself… shifting. As if, after all those years, she was finally falling asleep. Not momentarily, only to wake and walk as she had done so many times before. No, this time felt different. She felt light. Free. And as she felt her spirit take residence within the au pair, she bid farewell to the lake that had been her home for so many years.

No longer would she sleep. No longer would she wake. No longer would she walk the grounds of Bly, searching for something unreachable.

A beat of silence passed.

Then Viola took her place in a quiet corner of the au pair’s soul, where she would wait once more. Until the time came when she would claim the au pair and lead her back to Bly, where there would be a new soul tethered to the lake and the great manor that sat beside it.

But for now, Viola would simply wait. Biding her time, adjusting to her new home within the au pair… yes. For now, she would wait.

* * *

“I’m scared, Jamie.” Dani’s voice was barely a whisper, a broken sob that echoed into the night that had wrapped itself around them.

It had been a few days since the incident at Bly. They were curled up with each other on the sofa, Dani lying back with her head on Jamie’s chest.

“Listen to me, Poppins.” Jamie held Dani tight, her thumbs stroking circles on Dani’s shaking hands. “I know you’ve been through some proper shit these past few days. We all have.”

“Yeah,” Dani whispered, curling herself tighter into Jamie’s embrace.

“But you’re still here. And I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”

Dani sat up a little straighter, worry clouding her eyes. “But she’s here. She’s in here, Jamie.” She laid a trembling hand against her own chest. “I feel her. And I don’t know what she’s waiting for, or how long she’ll wait. I don’t know, and I’m just… I’m so scared…”

“Shh, I know, baby. I know.” Jamie placed a tender kiss on Dani’s forehead before taking her back into her arms. “I’ve got you. It’s okay. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Dani said, the smallest of smiles tugging at her lips despite her fear.

Jamie rocked her gently for a time, only stopping when Dani’s breaths deepened into soft snores. She didn’t let go, though. No, Jamie held on, steadfast. Gazing upon her lover’s face, wondering if the lady of the lake was gazing back at her from within.

“You can’t have her,” Jamie breathed through gritted teeth. “I won’t let you.”

And with that, Jamie stood, waking Dani with a whispered “Come on, baby.” She helped her to her feet and then to bed, pulling Dani as close as she could as they fell into dreams.

But, unbeknownst to the gardener, her plea had not gone unheard. For deep within Dani, in the very darkest corner, Viola still resided. She had heard Jamie’s lament. Heard the ferociousness in her voice, seen the way she cradled Dani’s face as if she was the most precious china that she dared not break. She saw the way Jamie’s eyes filled with love each time she simply looked at Dani – and she felt that same love resonate through Dani’s entire being as she looked back at her wife.

It was a wretched thing, Viola thought. Experiencing love this way, this second-hand, borrowed love. But it also made her heart soft. She was reminded of the au pair’s sacrifice, of how it was her love for the child that had saved her from Viola’s watery grave. And she was loath to admit it, but Viola began to feel bad for the young couple. Yes, she had been ruthless and grotesque and downright cruel for much of her life. But she also began to remember how it felt to love. She remembered Perdita, the way they would laugh until the silly hours of the morning until their faces hurt. And she remembered Isabel, her sweet girl, so full of light and kindness.

It came as a surprise to herself when Viola began to doubt her decision. Taking the au pair back to Bly, subjecting her to the pain so many others had already suffered. Oh yes, Viola was well aware of the tortured souls who had joined Bly after she did. Some were her doing, others were not. But all were in pain. All wanted to be free of that place. And now, they were. Thanks to one brave young woman. A young woman who, now, wanted nothing more than to spend her days with her true love, free of fear.

Viola couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt anything other than rage and loss. And yet, her heart now ached for a different reason. She felt, to put it simply, guilty. Guilty that she had to deprive this innocent young woman of this simple life she yearned for. Ashamed that it had taken her this long to realise. And horrified, too. Because, no matter how much she wanted to help the young woman; she didn’t know if she could.

For all of her years at Bly, living and dead, Viola couldn’t say she actually knew how it all worked. The lake, the gravity pull, the spirits trapped within the high walls. She didn’t know if there was truly a way to escape the inevitability of Bly. But she knew she had to try.

And so, Viola did.

She gave the au pair and the gardener as many years together as she could. Subdued herself until she was merely a whisper along the au pair’s spine. But that couldn’t last. Eventually, she began to lose control. Bly was calling – and she had to answer.

Her gut twisted as she saw the sadness in the gardener’s eyes, more and more each day. When the au pair would hunch over the bathtub, staring into the water for hours. And all Viola could do was stare back. Stare back and wish there was a way she could stop this.

All she wanted was to be free. Free, with her daughter, in whatever afterlife there was in this cursed world. She wanted to be free, but she also did not want to harm the au pair when claiming this idealistic freedom. Alas, her control was slipping with each passing day. She could feel her spirit rising up, settling in the au pair’s lungs like ash.

And one day, when the au pair awoke to find her hand inches away from the neck of the woman she loved, both she and Viola knew.

It was time.

* * *

Jamie awoke to a grey sky and an empty space beside her. A folded piece of paper lay on the dresser. Her heart sank to the floor. She already knew what it would say. Still, she reached for it, already choking back tears as she read Dani’s scribbled words.

_Jamie._

_Words can’t describe how much I love you._

_The life you have given me, how safe you’ve made me feel with each day we’ve spent together._

_I will cherish it forever._

_And Jamie, my love. Please don’t think leaving you was easy._

_This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I have to. I have to keep you safe._

_I could never forgive myself if anything happened to you. Especially if I was the cause of it._

_I will love you forever, Jamie._

_Thank you. For all of it._

_All my love,_

_Dani._

“No.” The word was sticky, barbed wire curling in Jamie’s throat as she raced to grab her clothes. She was in the taxi before her laces were even tied.

“Hi. Where are we going, then?”

“Bly Manor. Now.”

* * *

Dani was shivering, but not from the cold. The water was already lapping around her ankles, leafy fronds swaying gently beneath the rippling surface.

“I love you, Jamie,” Dani whispered with each step. Each step and she could feel Viola, pulsing beneath her skin. And while she didn’t want to go, Dani was tired. She was tired of waking up every day fearing that she’d find Jamie dead beside her, Dani’s own hand wrapped around her lover’s throat. No, the thought was too sickening to bear. So here she was, ready to be taken, into the lake’s inescapable embrace.

Viola could also feel Dani’s acceptance. Felt it wash over her, almost a sigh of relief as she waded deeper. The water was up to her waist now, calling for its lady to return.

But Viola didn’t want to return to the lake. And she didn’t want Dani to return in her place. The lady of Bly Manor had never been one for rules or expectations; this time would be no different.

And so, Viola willed, with all of her might. She willed to leave Dani’s body without pain for either of them, and for herself to finally pass over to a place where there would be peace. No longer did she want to roam the gardens of Bly, nor did she want to spend her life trapped, be that at the bottom of a lake or inside the young au pair.

And so, just as she had done all those years ago when death was ready to take her…

Viola refused.

She summoned every ounce of her power, filled every inch of Dani’s body with it. And, through Dani’s lips, she spoke:  
  
“I. Will. Not. Go.”

Dani’s body locked; eyes glazed over as Viola’s spirit rose out of her. Higher and higher she soared, until she floated above the lake. And as she floated up, she was greeted with the most miraculous sight. Isabel, her Isabel, skipping towards her through the clouds. She was no longer a child, of course – but Viola saw her daughter reflected back in the eyes of the woman in front of her.

And finally, after years of sleeping, and waking, and walking… Viola embraced her daughter once more. And as their spirits ascended, Dani’s spirit was also freed from Viola’s.

It felt as though, in that moment, Bly Manor breathed a sigh of relief. The lady of the lake was no more.

And Dani felt the lightness spread through her body, until it felt like she, too, was floating. And then she was falling backwards. She didn’t hear her name being screamed out; didn’t hear the splash in the water behind her; but she did feel strong arms wrapping themselves around her and pulling her back towards the shore…

* * *

Jamie pulled Dani with all the strength she could muster, desperate to get her out of the cold lake. Head still reeling from what she had just witnessed, she lay Dani onto her back, ripping off her coat and placing it beneath her wife’s head.

“Dani?” Jamie’s eyes wandered frantically over Dani’s body. She gripped Dani’s hands while trying to keep her own steady. “Dani, love. Can you hear me?”

Jamie’s heart leapt as Dani stirred, eyes fluttering open. “Jamie?”

“Oh, thank fuck.” Only then did Jamie allow herself to break, hiccupping sobs bursting from her lips as she cradled Dani in her arms. “I love you I love you I love you,” she whispered.

“Jamie, hey,” Dani spoke softly, sitting up. Their foreheads pressed together, Jamie holding Dani like she’d never let go.

“What the fuck, Dani? What happened?” Jamie’s voice was laced with fear. She still wasn’t sure what she’d seen, what exactly had happened above the gloomy lake of Bly Manor.

Dani took a shaky breath, lacing her fingers with Jamie’s before meeting her wife’s frightened stare. “It was her. It was time, it was her time.” She raked her hands through her hair, a small frown dimpling her forehead. “I mean, I thought it was… she was so loud, Jamie. So loud, and… and, present. She was right here.” She pointed to her heart. Jamie lay her head against that same spot, revelling in the sound of Dani’s heartbeat in her ears.

“I was so sure she was going to take me, Jamie,” Dani said. “But… something happened. Something changed. It was like… she didn’t want to drag me down anymore. And she didn’t want to stay here either.”

Jamie sat up, rubbing soothing circles onto Dani’s thigh as she continued to speak.

“It felt like she… like she refused.”

“Refused what?” Jamie frowned.

“Refused to be… taken, I guess? Reclaimed, by the lake. But I felt her, Jamie. It wasn’t like before. She… she released me. She let me go. She let me go back to you.” At this, Dani’s whole body sagged, wracked by sobs. And Jamie cried too, clutching the love of her life. The love who had been returned to her.

They cried like that for a while, the gardener and the au pair. Huddled together by the lake of Bly Manor, a place that had claimed so many souls before. But not this time.

Viola was finally free. The other souls, released by Dani’s brave sacrifice. And Dani herself, now walking hand in hand with her soulmate, laughing as they stumbled into the taxi only to cry once more mere seconds later, still reeling from being back in each other’s arms.

The ride home was a quiet one, punctuated by soft kisses and whispered sweet nothings. Jamie wanted to wrap herself up in Dani and stay there until the end of time; and Dani, well, Dani wanted to wrap herself up in Jamie just as much.

The shock began to set in once they’d been home for an hour or so.

Jamie noticed, of course, racing over to hold Dani’s face in her hands, keeping her tethered to reality as she had done so many times before.

“Hey, Poppins. I’m here? Okay. And so are you. We are here. It’s alright.”

Dani’s eyes, though wet with tears, no longer held the well of fear that had lingered within her for so long. “ _Oh_ ,” she breathed, gazing up at Jamie with a look akin to wonderment. “I’d forgotten.”

“Forgotten what?” Jamie said.

“I’d forgotten how it felt to hold nothing but love inside me,” Dani whispered. “God, there’s so much love, Jamie. There’s so much love, I don’t even know what to do with it.”

“I’ve got an idea,” Jamie smiled, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on Dani’s lips.

Dani deepened the kiss, losing herself in Jamie. It wasn’t the same as when she was losing herself to Viola. That was fear, anguish, hopelessness. Losing herself to Jamie, to her touch… that was warmth and passion and _home._

“I’ll love you forever, Jamie,” she said.

And Jamie kissed her back so fiercely, it was clear she felt the same.

* * *

The following weeks weren’t the easiest.

Dani still flinched when she caught glimpses of her own reflection. And Jamie still had nightmares about waking up to find Dani gone forever.

But they had each other. And it was through each other that they began to heal.

Dani no longer weighed down by the threat of Viola, and Jamie no longer terrified of losing Dani to the lady of the lake.

There even came a time when they started taking baths together, Dani no longer frightened of who she’d see when she looked upon the water’s reflection. Because now she would see herself, bright-eyed and full of hope. And she would see Jamie, wrapped around her, Jamie’s chin resting on her shoulder as she ran her fingers through Dani’s hair. And they would stay in the water for far too long, until there was a chill in the air and they had to race to their room for their nightclothes. But they didn’t care. Because the water would be drained away, and the cold chased out by hot chocolate and lazy kisses in bed. Because they were safe, in each other’s arms.

You see, although moonflowers only bloom at night, sometimes the greatest beauty can be born out of darkness. And, much like the moonflower, the love shared between the au pair and the gardener was one that had bloomed from the darkest of circumstances.

And it continued to bloom, for many years to follow.

Years that saw Dani teach Jamie how to cook – simple things, like grilled cheese sandwiches and spaghetti, but it was a start. And years that saw Jamie teach Dani how to toilet train the first puppy they adopted – whom they named Wingrave, Winnie for short. They were devoted to each other in each and every way, even when they argued about late bills or forgotten DIY projects.

And if there was one thing Dani learned through her experience with Viola, it was that love was more powerful than anything. More powerful than fear, or rage. More powerful than the need for revenge, even.

Because she loved Jamie completely. And Jamie loved her just the same.

And the rest…

Well, that’s a story for another time.

Until then.

It was all perfectly splendid.


End file.
